My friend Christine Valada said that she would like Congress "to find something that's as important to men as abortion rights are to women and TAKE IT AWAY in health bill."
I thought about that and came to the conclusion that rather than taking something away from them, it might open their eyes to the difficulties pregnant women face if, instead, we require all pregnancies to be carried to term, but also insure that men are held to an equal level of consequence as pregnant women.
The results would be as follows:
THE EQUAL PREGNANCY ACT
A man is required by penalty of death or life imprisonment to produce a child for every single sperm he has, and be morally and financially responsible for every one of the hundreds of children he produces until they are 21. He will also have to be emotionally and financially responsible for all of the mothers while they are pregnant.
If a man at any time rapes a woman and makes her pregnant, he will be required to then be subjected to an equally traumatizing rape himself, and will still have to take care of the child created by the original rape.
If a man gets drunk and impregnates a woman he did not want to be beholden to, he will still have to take care of her for nine months and take care of her child for 21 years.
If the child is born with extreme physical disabilities, the man will be required to spend the same amount of time, money, and emotional strain as the woman in taking care of the child for the rest of its life.
If the relationship that produced the child was incestuous, the man will have to admit to the world that it was incestuous, and everywhere he goes, carry the child with him and admit the circumstances through which he created it.
Any unfair treatment given to pregnant women in the workplace due to their pregnancy shall also be given to the baby's father.
DNA tests will be required by law at the time of the child's birth. Once a method can be devised to test DNA in the womb, that will replace testing at birth.
If the child is the result of abuse/rape, the father will have to cry whenever the mother cries, scream whenever the mother screams, and take the same depression pills while also tending the child the woman gave birth to.
If the father of the child is still a minor, even if he is as young as twelve years old, he will still be required to do all of the above and all of the below.
If the father is abused by the woman he impregnated, he will be required to maintain a relationship with her through the child they produce, even if she continues to be abusive.
If a woman's body is harmed by the pregnancy or damaged by a difficult delivery, the man shall have damage of an equal extreme applied to those parts that made the woman pregnant. He will then be expected to continue producing further children, regardless of pain or risk.
If the life of a woman he impregnated is endangered by the pregnancy, he will have to put a gun to his head and shoot himself if the mother dies.
That might remotely equate to the same sacrifice that women make when abortion is not an option.